This week The Foghorn is proud to host the Opening Speech at the Emergency Closed Door Meeting of German-Speaking Kafka Scholars as well as further musings on death and candy.

However, we can't do it without you and your submissions! (Well, we can, but we'd rather not.)

The Foghorn has extended our first contest deadline to September 15, so get writing. See the Contest page for details.

To sweeten the deal, we are offering a prize, the very first ever Foghorn t-shirt, bearing Voytek's likeness. Be the first to own the world's most amusing shirt. Impress your hipster friends by owning the most obscure t-shirt around!