The Foghorn

The Omegle Sessions

2009-08-20T12:32:00.001-07:00

Our loyal advisor Grant Munroe presents his new project, the Omegle Sessions.

From the site: "The Omegle Sessions are logged, lightly edited chats that can range from two to several hundred lines in length. Some are funny. Others are strange and referential. A few are adventures.

New sessions are posted Monday - Thursday.

Adventures are posted on Thursday."

Announcing our new venture,

2009-07-16T21:31:00.000-07:00

the Baby Fail Blog - "Because babies can't do anything".

Consider submitting photos or videos of your own muddy-headed infant.

The Foghorn is back!

2009-04-22T14:50:00.000-07:00

After a long and uneventful hiatus, The Foghorn is back and slightly better than ever. Why? Because of the work of Alexander Rubens - check it out here.

Congratulations, Sarah!

2008-09-25T12:29:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Sarah Smallwood for winning the first Foghorn story contest, "Home from the Hill"! See her winning entry here.

And get ready for the next story contest - topic to be announced next week.

2008-09-17T11:29:00.001-07:00

This week, check out a new short story from a Foghorn favorite, Grant Munroe, as well as quality satire from future favorite Devon Freeny.

And next week, stay tuned for the winner of our first contest! (it's not too late for last minute submissions, see the Contest page)

2008-09-03T18:58:00.000-07:00

This week The Foghorn is proud to host the Opening Speech at the Emergency Closed Door Meeting of German-Speaking Kafka Scholars as well as further musings on death and candy.

However, we can't do it without you and your submissions! (Well, we can, but we'd rather not.)

The Foghorn has extended our first contest deadline to September 15, so get writing. See the Contest page for details.

To sweeten the deal, we are offering a prize, the very first ever Foghorn t-shirt, bearing Voytek's likeness. Be the first to own the world's most amusing shirt. Impress your hipster friends by owning the most obscure t-shirt around!

2008-07-16T16:11:00.001-07:00

Be sure to enter our first ever story contest, "Home from the Hill." See our new Contests page for details.

2008-07-09T23:14:00.000-07:00

After more than a month of hiatus while the Editor shifted from Shanghai to Los Angeles, The Foghorn is back this week with three all new stories.

We are also happy to announce our first reader submission contest. The topic is "Home from the Hill," stories of returning home after a time abroad, literally or otherwise. We'll be running the best Fact and Fiction submissions the first week of September. Send submissions to editor@thefoghornmagazine.com as attached documents by August 15, and please do not include your name with your submission.

Last of all, The Foghorn needs your help! Over the last month of shameful neglect, The Foghorn has gone from many thousands of happy hits per month to just two or three sullen readers hitting "reload" again and again from under the sallow light of a single flickering bulb. Let's bring it back - this week, we're asking everyone to choose their favorite Foghorn piece, old or new, and send the link to one friend. Just one friend! That's not too much to ask.

The Foghorn turns 4 months old!

2008-05-07T00:36:00.000-07:00

According to BabyCenter.com, we should now be able to form all our native language's distinct phonemes, distinguish a full range of colors, and eat select solid foods.

This week's theme is "Office Hygiene" - check out entries by the Editor and special guest Sarah Smallwood.

2008-05-01T17:58:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to The Foghorn!

Our apologies for last week's regrettable absence. We're back this week with more musings on Lucha Libre, Marcel Proust, and bad choices.

Stay tuned next week for work from more than two (!) acclaimed comic writers. And don't forget to sign up for the newsletter for infrequent doses of embarrassingly personal information from the editor.

2008-04-16T21:16:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to frequent Foghorn contributor Ritija Gupta! Chicago's Metromix voted her one-act comedy "Engaging" as a top pick this week. Gorilla Tango theater presents “Border/Engaging: A Night of One Acts” featuring her piece alongside Jessica Murguia's "Border."

7:30 p.m. Wednesday. Through April 30. $15. Tickets: gorillatango.com

See more here.

2008-04-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

Welcome to another week at The Foghorn, with timely new pieces on tax day, Cormac McCarthy, and - um, Shakespeare.

This week we begin the process of migrating The Foghorn to a robust new content management system complete with a complex and beautiful tagging system that will allow you to search for articles by such helpful groupings as "flat-packed furniture," "philosophical parodies," and "dead whales."

We are also instituting a newsletter. Sign up today to receive infrequent but memorable emails. Or lurk around our message boards causing trouble.

2008-04-14T11:41:00.000-07:00

This is just too priceless - A former Lonely Planet writer assigned to cover Columbia admits he just hung around San Francisco and made stuff up. The Foghorn particularly appreciates the line, "I got the information from a chick I was dating -- an intern in the Colombian Consulate."

See The Foghorn's Lonely Planet Master Guide for our take on this fine organization.

2008-04-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

This weekend, The Foghorn enjoyed some beer in Yiwu, China, now "Free From Formaldehyde"!

2008-04-06T06:40:00.000-07:00

And while The Foghorn is posting our family photo album, we wanted to share this from our last trip to India, the perfect illustration for the Lonely Planet Master Guide. From the Delhi airport, with love.

It's Christmas in March

2008-03-27T00:17:00.000-07:00

It's another Wednesday, and we have brand new content from Ritija Gupta, complete with figgy pudding, dancing Santas, and mildly toxic Christmas cheer.

This week we start a new advertising campaign - more soon.

2008-03-24T17:48:00.000-07:00

The New Yorker's Alex Ross reviews the Met's ill-fated production of "Tristan und Isolde" and famous operatic debacles past.

"The most priceless aspect of the 'Aida' imbroglio was the double take delivered by Ildikó Komlósi, the mezzo singing Amneris, as she turned around to find a replacement tenor embodying Radames, his rumpled gray blouse suggesting a change of scene from ancient Egypt to the bargain floor at H & M."

"I never got to sleep alone till I got married.”

2008-03-24T17:43:00.000-07:00

From the latest New Yorker, a gathering of elderly Jewish comedians.

2008-03-20T12:21:00.000-07:00

We've added two new features to The Foghorn this week.

The first is a search page that allows you to find past articles gaily festooned with irrelevant advertising.

The second is a Classics page. How can a magazine less than one month old have any classics, you might ask? Well, we think ahead. In the future, the front page content will be changing weekly, and this provides a way to keep generating hits from best-loved features of the past, like Dyske Suematsu's The Works of George W. Bush and Katy Spindler's Whalebone Courtship, a favorite among Scandinavian readers who didn't catch the cracks I made about them in my recent IKEA piece.

2008-03-20T12:08:00.000-07:00

The best sentence I've read this week, from Hilton Als' review of a new production of "The Seagulls" in The New Yorker:

" . . . she deserves better than the show’s costume designer, Suzy Benzinger, has given her. (Her dresses are like something Bob Mackie might have whipped up for a “Seagull” parody starring Carol Burnett.)"

2008-03-14T18:09:00.000-07:00

Apologies for any subscribers that have noticed weird doublings and other errors in the RSS feed today. We are still working out some of the technology but hope that by tomorrow, all will be right again and you won't be hearing from us until next Wednesday, with a new feed full of all new humor and far less illegible gibberish. Less, anyway.

2008-03-13T11:08:00.000-07:00

It's Wednesday again, and that means a whole new week's worth of content on The Foghorn. Sit back and enjoy our musings on dubious memoirs, ontological uncertainty, dead whales, and affordable shelving.

2008-03-13T10:32:00.000-07:00

The Foghorn is addicted to Duelism, the surreal, funny, and haunting new blog by an unnamed Author. This Author pits representatives of the world's professions against one another alphabetically with comically grim results. Think Waiting for Godot meets Jobs People Do in upstate New York.

2008-03-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

The Foghorn is now the proud owner of a largely functional RSS feed. Subscribe today!

2008-03-06T01:23:00.000-08:00

The Foghorn is classing things up a bit! We are leading off this week with two new works in verse, the poetry of Miss Gillian Block and Ms. Katy Spindler. Also two new essays and a short fiction piece.

We've also added a new box at the bottom of each piece, with handy links to Digg, StumbleUpon, del.icio.us, reddit, and any other company with a made-up name we can find. If you like what you read, pass it on!

We are also eagerly seeking new submissions. Email editors at thefoghornmagazine dot com today.

2008-03-02T00:13:00.000-08:00

Google AdWords has now been installed on the site for about one week. In that time, we've generated more ads for shofars than any other product despite not using the word "shofar" once on the site.

That little algorithm is genius.

2008-03-01T23:09:00.000-08:00

We wanted to turn your attention to the first season of the reality T.V. parody Arts & Crafts Pro, created by Adam Goldman. There are four episodes so far, make sure to view them all. And stay tuned, more episodes may be in the works...

2008-03-01T22:10:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Foghorn Magazine! Check back every Wednesday for new articles, anecdotes, and announcements. Many of them alliterative.